


The 'Good' Queen

by Ginasfeather



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginasfeather/pseuds/Ginasfeather
Summary: 'It's been two years since, by the people's will, Regina had been crowned 'The Good Queen'. It would seem, though, that she wasn't so good after all.' Just short and angsty.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	The 'Good' Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Hi here I am with another stressy depressy one shot. Idk why but I've been in the mood to do these so :,)
> 
> TW: bad thoughts?

It'd been two years since she'd been crowned 'The Good Queen'. Two years. In those two years, Regina had worked hard. As queen, her hours were long and her job was never finished. But in this new, united realm, there was peace. Arguments were talked out and compromises were made. Criminals were located and tried for their misconduct.

To put it lightly, the last two years had been normal. Mundane. (Boring).

There was nothing threatening the lives of Regina or her family. There had been no accidents, diseases, threats or _anything else_ disrupting their lives. This, Regina knew, was a good thing. She _knew_ this.

For once, everyone could live their lives and be with their families. Everyone could be happy. And, it seemed, everyone was. Snow, Charming and Neal lived somewhere a little ways off Storybrooke, on their beautiful farm. Charming; deputy Sheriff of Storybrooke and Snow; school teacher. Emma, Killian and their child lived near the docks. A perfect compromise of Emma's wish to stay in the 'real' world and Killian's to live at sea. Emma; Sheriff of Storybrooke, and Killian; reformed pirate. Henry, Jacinda and Lucy settled down in The Enchanted Forest, near Storybrooke's border. Henry; full time writer, and Jancinda; stay at home mom.

Wish realm Henry had alternated between his home with his blonde mother on the docks, and his home on 108 Mifflin Street.

Everyone was content and happy to finally be rid of the constant interruptions to their lives. Glad to have their _happy beginning_.

And Regina was, too. She had chosen not to move to the castle when she became queen. She lived her life in her own home in Storybrooke. Half of the time, with Henry. Half of the time, alone. Her life was, by definition, blissful. She had her sons whom she loved dearly and who loved her right back. She had her extended family and friends, who she saw on a regular basis. Even in busier times, there was always the weekly dinner together.

Putting her personal life aside, Regina's work life was not far from perfect either. She enjoyed her job, leading the people of the united realms.

When she thought about it, Regina had no idea why she would be unhappy. That's why tonight had confused her.

She'd been alone in her house. It was rather late and darkness had befallen the world. She'd decided to clean the kitchen. Where the motivation had come from, at this hour, she didn't know. The first step in her mission was clearing the dishwasher of the clean dishes. She'd grabbed about six plates, stacking them up on her arm. She opened the cabinet with her free arm and, taking the stack of plates in two hands, reached above her head to put them away.

_Crash!_

The plate at the very top of the stack had slipped from her hands and had fallen down. Regina had seen it happening. The thing fell right between her arms, down to the countertop below. Upon impact, her face had been down, looking toward the falling dish.

It shattered.

Pieces of the plate flew every which way. To the left, right and center; nothing in the near vicinity was safe from tiny bits of sharp ceramic.

That is, nothing except Regina. Because as she stiffened in a natural reflex, closing her eyes and expecting pain, she felt nothing. There was no pain.

After the crash, Regina reopened her eyes, slowly putting the other plates that had remained safe in her grip on the counter. Her heart was racing. She lifted her arms and inspected them, searching for wounds, tiny or large. But besides the fact that she _felt_ nothing, she _saw_ nothing either. Her hands and arms seemed clear of any blemishes. Next thing she did was run her hands over her face only to bring them back to eye level, seeing if there was any blood on them. There wasn't.

She checked her arms again and found a thin red line, about three centimeters long, on her left arm. It wasn't a cut but rather a graze, the small line raising slightly.

Regina's heart stopped pounding, and a weird sensation dawned on her. Was that… disappointment?

It was. Regina was disappointed. Disappointed that she hadn't been hurt. That she hadn't hurt herself. She stared at the line that marred her left arm, willing for blood to appear. Blood, even if it was only a little. She willed herself to feel the mark. To feel the pain. But she didn't feel it. She didn't feel anything.

Why was she disappointed that she didn't feel pain? Why was she frustrated by the fact that she _wasn't hurt?_

This was the question that Regina pondered as she began cleaning the mess she'd made. Treading carefully around the sharp pieces, because logically she knew that cutting herself on one of them would not be pleasant.

While she thought about her weird disappointment, Regina remembered previous happenings where she'd felt things, bad things, before. Occasions where she'd felt a sense of welcoming anticipation where normal people felt dread; such as the time when Emma hadn't been answering her phone and there was a mild panic about the possibility of her being missing. Occasions where she'd felt disappointment where others felt relief; like the time Regina went to the doctor and found out she didn't have an underlying condition for her headaches, but was rather just dehydrated and needed to drink more.

These were not things that she should feel. Regina knew this. And it wasn't like, after Emma had been 'found', that Regina wasn't happy about that. She _was_ happy that her friend was safe. But she had been looking for bad news, still. Regina also couldn't say that she had been _wanting_ bad news from the doctor, but she'd still been disappointed when there wasn't.

And now, a weird—bad— feeling like that had arisen again. Why did Regina feel these things? Why did she feel hopeful about things that would bring her pain? And why did she feel frustrated when those things didn't happen?

Then, it hit her. All her life, Regina had had something bad happening to her or to someone she cared about. As a child, she'd been afraid of her mother. Mother would punish her for things that children _normally_ didn't get punished for. These punishments would come both physically and mentally. So, Regina lived in fear; constantly awaiting pain.

Then, Daniel died. A tragedy, which brought Regina a lot of grief. After that she'd unwantedly married the king. The wedding night was a tragedy on its own, as were the many more nights to come.

After the king died, Regina wasn't the one to endure tragedy, but it followed her everywhere she went. Families were ripped apart, entire villages erased. Then her father died. Regina killed him. Though she was the one responsible for it, the grief was no less because of it.

It is true, that during the curse, there were no tragedies. Life was quiet. Life was good, even, after she got Henry. These years during the curse were a break. A break from all the devastation.

After the curse broke, though, life was back to its usual _eventfulness_. From losing her son to his hatred for her, to losing him to Pan, and later to Pan's curse. From gaining a soulmate in a world where her son didn't recognize her, to losing that soulmate to his previously dead wife. From discovering that said wife was actually her wicked sister, to having to endure said sister's pregnancy. A pregnancy with her soulmate's baby.

From dealing with a new dark one in the form of Emma Swan, to going to the underworld for said Swan.

From fearing for her beloved soulmate's baby's life, to losing said soulmate in a fight against the god of the underworld.

From dealing with that grief, to seeing the pirate resurrect from the dead, while her own soulmate couldn't.

From fighting her inner demons, literally, by fighting her own evil half, to fighting yet another person who threatened her whole family, this time in the form of one Black Fairy.

Even after this 'final battle' was won, Regina had dealt with her son leaving home, needing to rescue him from yet another life threatening situation, and living under another curse. Another curse that, if it should break, would kill her son.

In short, Regina Mills' life had been nothing but a constant string of living through tragedies. But for two years now, there had been none.

For two years, life had been quiet. No one was killed, no one died, no one's life was threatened and no one left. All was right in the world.

All was right in the world, just like Regina had always wanted. Like she'd always yearned for. But now that she had it, it seemed that her mind was too used to the tragedy. Somewhere very deep inside of her, Regina now craved disaster. Catastrophe. Tragedy. And she would always have to live with the knowledge that, every time something bad was looming, she would be secretly wishing it to come true. Not with her right mind, because God knows Regina doesn't _actually_ want someone she holds dear to fall ill, or worse, die. But in the back of her head, in the darkest corner of her mind, would she yearn for _something_ bad to happen.

It's been two years since, by the people's will, Regina had been crowned 'The Good Queen'. It would seem, though, that she wasn't so 'good' after all.


End file.
